tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5273270228005303883.post2357923510669714322..comments2024-02-08T00:23:56.145-08:00Comments on Write Stuff: Query Dissection for An Absence of LightMeradeth Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06741790047121063893noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5273270228005303883.post-20239782611468453482013-05-02T11:26:05.093-07:002013-05-02T11:26:05.093-07:00A little bit of tweaking, as suggested above. Fund...A little bit of tweaking, as suggested above. Fundamentally, it works.William Kendallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00331324250821836822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5273270228005303883.post-52998948785491887852013-04-23T11:18:06.004-07:002013-04-23T11:18:06.004-07:00Yay!! That means a lot to me! :)Yay!! That means a lot to me! :)Meradeth Houstonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06741790047121063893noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5273270228005303883.post-27065518551541303002013-04-23T09:06:01.047-07:002013-04-23T09:06:01.047-07:00Mer! This is great!!!! I agree that you should a...Mer! This is great!!!! I agree that you should add "a" before stolen, but I love everything else<br /><br />:)<br />Daisy Carterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17735098333414333404noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5273270228005303883.post-2606570262202147752013-04-20T19:51:43.017-07:002013-04-20T19:51:43.017-07:00Thanks! Very good points--I appreciate it!!Thanks! Very good points--I appreciate it!!Meradeth Houstonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06741790047121063893noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5273270228005303883.post-40756580464852799822013-04-20T17:52:08.397-07:002013-04-20T17:52:08.397-07:00It sounds great to me. I agree about the first lin...It sounds great to me. I agree about the first line (adding a before stolen). The line that says- Together the group pieces together... It says together twice. Maybe take out the first together. <br /><br />Queries are a lot of work- but yours is coming along nicely. :)<br />~JessJess@Fairday's Bloghttp://thesecretdmsfilesoffairdaymorrow.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5273270228005303883.post-78256623970112590162013-04-20T07:44:25.315-07:002013-04-20T07:44:25.315-07:00Super amazing points! Thanks :) Super amazing points! Thanks :) Meradeth Houstonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06741790047121063893noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5273270228005303883.post-13991305544601361242013-04-19T21:35:26.820-07:002013-04-19T21:35:26.820-07:00The first sentence bothers me. Shouldn't it b...The first sentence bothers me. Shouldn't it be:<br />with bloody hands and a Stolen BMW, Leah flees from murder charges...<br /><br />Also, murder charges and crime committed is repetitive but I don't have a fix for it...<br /><br />And then I don't think you need " one thing will make her stop running". Just need "she has to stop them" or something like that.<br /><br />I'm one to talk. I'm self-publishing because I can't query to save my life!Fairviewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06130996970916886241noreply@blogger.com