Things I wish someone had told me before I started grad school:

By: Meradeth Houston on 11:00 AM

Considering I'm going to be starting my fifth year of grad school, maybe this is a little late, but as I fight my way through my first quarter of teaching here at UC Davis, these are some of the things I've been thinking about:

1. TA'ing will suck more time and energy than a black hole, with the exception of actually teaching, which is a black hole and there's no escaping (at least until grades are submitted).
2. Sometimes there's a real reason why some people end of in academia, and it's not always a good one.
3. Research institutions are very, very different from teaching institutions, though this isn't information that's easily found anywhere.
4. Not all advisers are created equal. See #2.
5. It IS possible to get through school without debt (this doesn't go for professional schools though :). You will pay for it though through blood, sweat, and tears, and usually a liberal amount of swearing.
6. It is possible to live on ramen consistently. It will result in scurvy. Multi-vitamins will help.
7. Having children in grad school requires super-powers, generally the ability to go without sleep for weeks at a time. I do not have this power, and really, I don't want it. I like to sleep, and if I'm going to get a super-power of any kind, it damn well better be flying.
8. On-campus housing will smell bad. Always. No amount of industrial-strength febreeze will get rid of it.
9. Get an apartment with a washer, dryer, and dishwasher. It'll make your life worth living.
10. Remember to occasionally take a break to do something fun and mindless. You won't have time, but it'll make things look a whole lot better once you're back.
11. Your first journal article will probably kick your ass. Theoretically, it will get easier.
12. Learn how to speak in public before your first gig teaching or speaking at a conference. Being nervous is going to get you laughed at, trust me (from personal experience).
13. Grading tests/papers/assignments is fun for about the first two minutes, the first time you do it. Then the power-trip fades when you realize how dumb the majority of people in college are.
14. Exercise. Trust me, you'll feel better. Even when you have a pile of papers to read, and grading, and that extraction that's not working and you have to find some way to fix it before tomorrow, taking twenty minutes to run will help.
15. Going to grad school close to family can be good. And bad. Weigh these options carefully.
16. Caffein is going to be about the only thing that's going to keep you going (unless you drink, and then that too). Just get used to it.
17. Freshmen will always be clueless. The charm of this trait wears off fast, so enjoy it while you can.
18. You will treasure those students who actually listen to you, and are enthusiastic about your subject. They'll make your teaching life worth living.
19. Holding office hours on a Friday will ensure that you never have to see anyone.
20. Bribes work, especially when disguised as something else.

Okay, that's all I can think of for the moment. Anyone got anything to add?