Turning Points

By: Meradeth Houston on 4:00 AM

Happy Monday! How is everyone doing? We had all kinds of awesome sunshine this weekend, and despite the cold temps, that was glorious! I can't wait for spring, even if we've had a majorly mild winter here this year (three cheers for very little snow! I know it's bad for our water supply, but wow do I hate the snow!). Anyhow, I hope everyone's doing okay, keeping warm, and looking forward to spring (well, except for William :).

So, turning points. This week has a big one for me. It's been a long interview process at the

University of Montana (four months), after working here for nearly three years, and hopefully I'll have some news this week about whether or not I get a tenure line. What does that mean? Well, I've been a Visiting Assistant Professor for three years (basically an indentured servant--I teach twice the classes as everyone else, for half their pay), and tenure means I'll be a permanent faculty member and get to drop the "visiting." I'll get to finally get my own lab started, take on my own students (even though I've been doing this anyhow), and generally have a real "adult" job with some actual security. Well, at least a job that may allow me to make more than minimum wage. Might be kinda nice after years and years of school! ;)

I'm not bitter, really. Okay, maybe a little. But still. I love my job. I want to actually keep it.

After having to go through the insane process of interviewing, competing with people from around the world, and trying to not scream for months now, I should hear one way or the other this week. So, major turning point. My coworkers and I had no choice about how the interviews worked--it's University policy. Yay for policy...or not....

Honestly, I'm terrified. It's funny how big changes like this appear. Most of the time they're little things that slowly change our course, bit by bit, sometimes so gradual that we hardly even notice them. Other times there's this huge event that looms up and threatens to clobber us. (Let's not talk about my panic attacks lately...or the ulcer I'm surely giving myself.) I'm not sure which is more terrifying: the big event turning point is at least something we can see, but a gradual change can feel more out of our control. Both have major implications for our lives. I will say that I feel much more equipped to write about the anxiety of a big turning point now though!

Basically, this post is to say that if I seem a little nuts this week, that's why. And if I lose it on Friday and start posting expletive-laden posts around the web, you know what's up :)

Until then, I'm going to try not to eat everything in my house!