Okay, so, I've mentioned a few rejection letters I've received lately on twitter or here on the blog. They've hurt. I mean, how can they not? I have a pretty thick skin, but that doesn't mean that stuff like that doesn't still hurt, ya know? It's the getting back up and into the ring that has been taking its toll on me. I have felt myself seriously wondering what it's all for. I know I post about this from time to time, but sometimes there is solace in sharing how I feel. Plus, I like writing here about what's going on in my writerly life--my readers are much more understanding than other people I deal with in real life :)
Anyhow, as I drag myself to my feet and dust myself off again I have had to really fight to maintain my sense of hope. That there really is light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel. Because I'm kind of sick of getting hit by the train :) I know I have been seriously blessed with the houses I've worked with thus far, and especially with the amazing people I've met along the way. I count myself lucky every single day. It's just that I have goals I'd like to reach, and sometimes fighting my way to that next level in my writing life is just exhausting. After three hours by myself in the car the other day, I really had to ask myself the question of whether it's worth it. There are certainly arguments to be made for either side.
(I also have a post I'd like to write about querying and some of the thing that irk me about rude people, but I'll spare you all. Though if anyone wants to chat, catch me on facebook :)
So, yeah, that doubt is real right now. And so is my frustration. So, when the self-doubt strikes home, I find myself doing some serious introspection. And listening to a whole lot of Taylor Swift :) Maybe I just need a break from querying until I don't find myself so annoyed by it all. Or just some sleep. Doesn't that cure everything?
What do you do if/when self-doubt creeps in?
Happy birthday! Enjoy your spring break. :) I'm like you, I do a lot of introspection when I feel self-doubt, but I push forward past it and hope I can bulldoze through it!
ReplyDeleteI totally understand -- and not just about spring fever! You wouldn't believe how many pounds of rejection letters I have! Sometimes, the cure is a) tweak it a bit and send it out somewhere else and b) start a shiny new manuscript. Hang in there! :)
ReplyDeleteOkay, I'm going to be the mom here--YOU DO NOT GIVE UP!! You are such a talented author and it would break my heart, truly, to see you give up.
ReplyDeleteThe rejection letters hurt like a bitch. I had many for my first book Concilium and I have a middle grade book I've written that I've just stopped querying on because of one agent...I sent the full as asked and ten minutes late (no joke) he emailed back and just say (No. Thanks anyway.) What? That's how agents behave? It really knocked me down. And like you, I started to question if it was worth it. I told my husband that "I didn't know why I even bother." and his answer helps boost me every day..."Because you're meant to." Four words and they mean so much, he's such a dork, he probably doesn't even know how much he helped. LOL.
And, Meradeth, you are meant to write and I firmly believe that your time is coming, and when it does, the rest of us will have to take a step back, because it's going to explode!
Don't stop. I don't know what else to say except:
I believe in you!
BIG HUGS,
Michelle <-- non caffeinated today (not by choice!)
I'm in a dark place too, so I can't even try to offer words of advice and I don't want to pull you further down, so I won't commiserate. I'm just gonna echo what Michelle said. You're a great writer. At the least internalize that.
ReplyDeleteVirtual hugs! Enjoy spring break. Happy birthday.
I totally know how you feel. And it is hard when you know you should be thankful (and are!) for the success you've had. But it's natural to want to keep moving upward. And you will! Just keep putting yourself out there. It'll happen.
ReplyDeleteYou don't give up, you just keep going.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to you!
I pretend I didn't get the R when I open email. I'm usually so sad when yet another comes...
ReplyDeleteI always just sleep through it or step away or something. Taking a break is a brilliant idea. Enjoy spring break!
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wish I was the only writer to doubt (ha!) b/c I hate knowing that my buddies have to ride that same roller coaster- which is no fun at all!! Hang in there, Mer, you will make it. If anything has taught me from my years of hanging out on the Internet listening to ppl's war stories, is that if you do not give up and keep at it, you will make it. Nothing beats hard work and determination. Now go eat some chocolate! ;)
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday. Enjoy spring break. These doubts fill me as well. I'm always trying to get to the next step, and it's never easy. If you've made it this far, you have it in you to go further.
ReplyDeleteYeah for Spring Break! Enjoy the time- even if most of it is spent on catching up with school work (as a teacher I can totally relate). Better to have that extra time than to not have it. I hope you do find some time to relax and do something fun. :)
ReplyDeleteHappy Early Birthday!!! Hope it is wonderful!
I can relate to the negative thoughts you are having. It can be hard to keep picking yourself back up and feel positive about writing and querying. I am trying to get motivated to write right now (I am also on break and trying to catch up on a million things and wondering where the "break" is going). I have my own deadline, but none that I have to stick to- which is making it hard for me to do the writing I need to do. I am hoping to get motivated at the end of this week when I meet with co-author, Jess.
Don't let self doubt keep you down for too long. I have read all the Sary books you have published so far and loved each and every one of them- and that is saying a lot, because they are the only books in their genre that I couldn't stop reading (and I still want the 4th book). :) You are a talented writer and you create characters that readers care about. Sometimes it can be hard to find the right place for our work and hearing back negative responses can be tough. Don't let them get you down. You are talented, you are a great writer, and you will find the right place for your work. I believe in you! Sometimes we need to lick our wounds for a little while and that is okay. Just get back up. :)
I know I can't wait to read your next book and I know I am not alone.
Okay- I just saw my comment and realized that I wrote a book! lol! Sorry- I didn't mean to write so much- but I guess I had a lot to say. :) You are fabulous, Meradeth! Don't forget it!
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