Thoughts on Writing: the Professor character #amwriting

By: Meradeth Houston on 4:00 AM

So this is something that came up this week while reading a really awesome novel: I was really enjoying everything...until the university professor comes on the scene. Because, lets be honest, as a Professor, there are very few times that this character is portrayed correctly. Actually...I can't think of a single time that I've seen it done well or accurately.

Caveat: every department, university, and career is very different. I am biased toward what it's like to be an anthropology professor in a smaller school, but with a focus on research. Things are super different at the big R1 schools (research first), and vastly different from smaller teaching colleges. Still...it's *always* going to be a busy and stressful job.

So, what got the burr in my butt about this? The guy shows up to work and got to spend the whole day, door shut, just doing research. He didn't have to attend faculty meetings, or read his emails (well, memos in the book, but really NO one uses memos any more). Actually, he avoided interaction with the rest of his department pretty much on the whole all of the time. AND, the kicker, he got to PICK where he worked. JUST NO. On all counts.

Haha, okay, so yeah I know, sometimes it's necessary to bend the rules a little to make a story work. I guess it just irked me because it got me thinking that never, anywhere, have I seen this type of character done well. To add to this, the Professor character is EVERYWHERE. Think about it: they are on almost every show, and many movies, let alone books galore. (and not just characters that are called "professor" and aren't one, too.)

Anyhow, things to think about if you're going to write a professor character: we never have free time. I work pretty much 24/7. I always have to have my email around, because it gets insane in the blink of an eye. I work with people around the world on research, let alone my students in classes and the lab. If I'm in my office, I'm almost never left alone, with the rare exception of right around a big holiday. Students, other professors, random people off the street (and oh gods could I tell you stories about this), let alone research collaborators, etc., are ALWAY stopping by. Getting a chance to work on a single project and dedicate some serious hours to it flat out always means I have to work from home. Which I do. A lot.

I'm never going to be able to take an unexpected trip to see some strange event. Not in the middle of the semester, especially. Professors don't get substitute teachers. We may be lucky enough to have a grad student or TA who can cover a few days for us, both long absences are next to impossible. I'll be missing two days later this semester for a work conference and it's insane attempting to get that all worked out. Sure, I can cancel class...but that can count against me on my evaluations and that's not something I can afford to mess with (they count toward raises, tenure, annual evals, which if you think about it is really screwed up).

Okay, last one: the academic job market is a pretty screwy place. This is a huge post in and of itself, but let's suffice it to say that new, permanent positions only open up when someone retires or dies. Sometimes a university opens a new position when the money allows for it, but it doesn't happen often. So, once you're done with grad school and basically desperate for a job, you kind of have to apply to the random positions that are open. And that could be ANYWHERE. (And no university hires its own graduates.) This is how I ended up in the middle of Montana. Sure, maybe later I'll be able to apply for a position that'll come open elsewhere, but getting a tenure track position to begin with is like winning the lotto--getting one where you want to live (wherever that might be) is next to impossible. So, a character that just applies to any old department because they want to live in XYZ city--nope. Not gonna happen.

Anyhow, this is a random rant of a post about professor life. If you want to be true to life to on in your writing, it would be best to be really familiar with academic life. Or just make your character in some other profession that you know more about :)

/rant :)