Characterization

By: Meradeth Houston on 2:20 PM

(Whoa, this has got to be some kind of record for me--how many days in a row have I posted now?)

Okay, I've been thinking about this for a while and have wanted to blog about it, if only to get my thoughts in order. Granted, this may just turn into the giant jumble that's going on in my mind, but one can hope, right? So, I've been thinking a lot about what is missing in my writing. I've been playing this game a long time, and I've seen a lot of people finally hit the agent/book-deal/published writer thing, and I would like to figure out how I can somehow manage that myself (or die trying, which is looking all the more like the alternative, but whatever). Hunting through the files I have of rejection letters is about the best way to totally depress a person, but it's also supposed to be some kind of beacon that's going to tell me what I'm missing. I'm not looking for a magic-bullet here, but I need something to work on, or I'm just going to scream. And here's one of the things I think I've got to work on: my characters. They are missing something. I believe I had a rejection that said an "essential spark" (of course, this is right behind the personal rejection that said my characters were vividly drawn--can I just say this whole thing is enough to drive anyone nuts, let alone a order-obsessed scientist??). But, yeah, I can agree with this one, and I think it's something that wold make my work stronger.

Great. Now what?

I've done the back-story thing. I've done the interview my characters thing. I've hunted around in google-images (my favorite thing on the web, btw) for pictures and other stuff to get me really into my character's head. And I've come to a conclusion: I just don't get people, let alone people on paper. I have a feeling this might explain my job choice to work with the dead. This is a problem. How am I supposed to create characters that grab someones attention and make them want to buy my books if I can't create a character that sits up on the page and pulls readers in? How can I "get" a character when I just don't get real, live people I'm around every day?

It goes beyond this. I've been thinking about it more, and I really think part of the problem is that I don't understand myself, and therefore understanding everyone else is just a bigger mess that leaves me smiling-and-nodding. I'm going to be turning an age that's a little too close to thirty than I want to admit, and I honestly know very little about myself. I've spent way too much of my time being what everyone else wants me to be, and too little time being the me I want to be. I'm not one of those "let's be introspective and feel sorry for ourselves" kind of people, so I'm not whining here, but it's the truth. And I think my writing is suffering for it.

This sounds even crazier than I it did in my head, which is not generally a good sign :)

I'm not sure how to fix it. I'm not even sure this is a good argument. But I do know that I'm going to be working on both things--being the real me, even when that means I want to sing really loud in the lab when people can hear me in the hallway (er, yeah, guilty). I'm also going to be looking hard at my characters and attempting to infuse them with life. I hope.

And now, I'm going to go get the stupid mirror I taped to the wall to stick, if it's the last thing I do!