Happy Monday everyone! Okay, maybe not totally happy Monday. Classes are back in swing today, and I am feeling the gut-twisting nerves of the start of another semester. That being said, I may be a bit slower on blog comments until things slow down around here :) (Insert slightly neurotic laugh here...slow down...hahaha...)Okay, anyhow, I have something I thought I'd bring up to chat about, mainly because I have a R&R on a manuscript that brought up a point that hadn't occurred to me (I should have, don't know why it didn't, but whatever). Basically, it deals with how the characters deal with grief. Somehow I always end up writing books with grief-stricken characters (why is that? Seriously, I don't know what that says about me), and there are the textbook stages of grief that can really help demonstrate their ability to handle what's happened to them. I read a lot about this when I wrote Colors, but it was interesting to go back and revisit.
Now, I'm definitely not a psychologist (I like to study dead people, thank you very much) so this is sort of the cliff-notes version of what I gleaned online. Generally, people tend to have about 5 stages of the grieving process, either due to death or other massive life-changing event. They don't always go through all five, and not in any particular order, and they can shift back and forth between them as time goes on. In general, the stages are:
- Denial and isolation
- Anger (both at self and at the person who died/did whatever)
- Bargaining (an attempt to regain control of the situation in some way)
- Depression (sadness and regret)
- Acceptance (usually with some withdraw and calm)
So, I've been going through my manuscript, adding in a bit more emotion to highlight some of the grieving stages the characters might be going through. The thing I keep coming back to is how each character must face these steps (or skip them) based on their personality. It's not a one size fits all kind of thing, and everyone faces grief different--even fictional people :)
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| Bonus if you can remember the Simpsons take on the five stages! |
Here's my question for you: have you ever used the five stages in your writing? Can you think of a movie or book that has? (I totally have a list of movies I can think of that use these stages!)
No, I haven't. There's a lot of death in my Touch of Death series, but my MC is so busy trying to save her kind that she doesn't get the opportunity to process the deaths of those she loves. Poor Jodi!
ReplyDeletePoor Jodi indeed! That was kind of the mentality I had going for my MC, but I'm kinda liking adding in more more time for her to process.
DeletePersonally speaking, these days I find myself at stage two.
ReplyDeleteFrom the writer's point of view, I've put my antagonists through grief, killing off their loved ones in ways that make them become antagonists....
I'm so sorry William. Sending you good thoughts!
DeleteThis will definitely help with what I'm writing right now. As for movies I think 50/50 covered all of those.
ReplyDelete50/50 was totally the first one that came to mind! Glad it's helpful :)
DeleteOh gosh, now that you mention it, my characters undergo some grieving as well in ALL my stories. Hmm..I'm definitely writing Comedy next time. In Reaper's, Ana experiences the first three for a few minutes before Ernest swoops in.
ReplyDeleteMoviewise: I think PS: I Love You --one of the most romantic movies ever--IMO-- I think the character goes through these 5 stages.
Is it bad that I haven't seen PS because I know it's going to make me cry? :) One of these days I'll get to it!
DeleteAmazing concept to use these five stages. Thanks for sharing Meradeth!
ReplyDeleteGlad you found it useful! :)
DeleteI have used the five stages, but usually on myself as these are the stages I go through when I edit ;)
ReplyDeleteLOL! Oh, I completely hear you there!! :)
DeleteI hope you have a great semester. Tomorrow is my first day with my students and I have the before school jitters. I know once it starts everything will get "back into the swing". Looking forward to my new students, but not looking forward to less time!
ReplyDeleteI think this post is so interesting. Great to think about how everyone goes through the stages differently. This post is making me thing! :)
Hope the school year starts off wonderfully for you! Glad the post was interesting :)
DeleteI do hear about the five stages a lot in novels...and how people jump around depending on who they are. I can't think of a movie that uses it, though I'm sure there are many.
ReplyDeleteThere are quite a few examples--it gets used all over the place! :)
DeleteYou always have such interesting posts on your blog, Meradeth! I love how much thought you put into every aspect of your writing. It shows, girl :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks!! I try--not sure it always works, but I give it my best shot :)
DeleteMeradeth, I'd never thought about using the five stages of grief in my writing, even though my characters do go through a lot of trauma. Now that I think about it, they did go through most of these, but I didn't plan it that way. I think you did a GREAT job with Julia's grief in Colors Like Memories; it's one of the things that stuck with me the most.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why, though, but when I think about the five stages of grief I think about the cartoonish interpretation where a character goes through all five in about a minute, usually played for laughs.
I totally know what you mean about the cartoon version of grief--that's been done so much! Kinda random that that's what always comes to mind :)
DeleteI haven't, but I remember studying them in my psych classes. I think it's a great idea that you're using them and tailoring them to your characters.
ReplyDeleteThanks! :)
DeleteI just reviewed these stages last week :P
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely using it in my WIP. Turns out that my psych. major has come in handy!
I'll bet! Seriously handy I'm sure!
DeleteI remember learning those stages in college.
ReplyDeleteIs the R&R on Surrender?
No, not on Surrender, but on An Absence of Light--the alien one :)
DeleteGotcha! ;)
DeleteI definitely notice some of these stages in the Harry Potter series when one of the characters loses someone they love. And they all react a bit differently. Great post.
ReplyDeleteJess
Oh, great example! So totally true that Rowlings used these :)
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